The Broken Road

Rascall Flatts seems to write and sing songs about my life. But I think The Broken Road probably takes the cake. I was thinking today, about boys I dated that finally led me to choosing Derek. The ones I loved, the ones I didn't, the ones that lasted a long time, the ones that were just a first date. Some broke my heart, others, I regret to say, had their hearts broken by me.

People have asked me if I would go back and change things, if I regret getting into so many relationships, especially while Derek was gone. Honestly, I don't regret the time I spent with a single one of them. Of course there are things ABOUT each relationship I regret but overall, I wouldn't go back and erase the time I spent with those men.

Perhaps it will sound cliche, but honestly-I learned a lot from every one of them. I learned how to love. I learned what it means to care more about the other person than yourself. In their own way, they all taught me confidence in myself. They taught me to never give up on myself. Several of them taught me how important it is to communicate, to really explain what's going on inside your head. Am I perfect at any of that yet? No, not yet. But I'm working on it.

I guess the most important thing, is that I learned what I really wanted. Each of them had traits I knew I wanted to emulate, to develop, and find in the person I would eventually marry, whether it was one of them or someone in the future. That's why you date, isn't it? Of course part of dating is having a good time, running around enjoying life together. Having those moments where you think you love that person so much you might burst. And then later, you find out what REAL love is. Not that you didn't love them, of course you did. But that love is just a precursor to a much better, deeper love.

I feel like this is a whole bunch of thoughts crammed into one, but I guess that happens.